Executive Coaching Articles

Five Guidelines for Improving Relationships With Difficult Co-Workers

Sir Winston Churchill and Lady Astor could have benefited from heeding the advice of R.J. Rehwinkels who said, "The only people you should try to get even with are those who have helped you."

These two prominent British politicians experienced one of the most bitter relationships in Parliament history. Their interactions were constantly filled with conflict, sarcasm, and caustic remarks, each intending to pay the other back in full for past transgressions.

Once during a legislative session, Lady Astor became so upset with one of Churchill's decisions that she shouted, "Sir Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea."

To which Churchill quickly retorted, "Madam, if you were my wife, I'd drink it."

As Churchill and Astor's stormy working relationship demonstrates, many people have needlessly put each other down instead of building each other up. Especially in today's "dog eat dog" work environment, positive, uplifting, and encouraging words have been irresponsibly exchanged for negative, piercing, and destructive ones, making my five guidelines for improving relationships with difficult co-workers and other unflattering individuals even more timely:

1. See and accept others for who they are by looking for their positive strengths and talents, rather than their negative imperfections and shortcomings.
2. Be fully present for them by listening without judging.
3. Treat your coworkers as equals.
4. Try viewing things from their perspective, instead of yours to better understand who they are, what they think and feel and why they behave like they do.
5. When all else fails, remember a person who reached out to you.

Evaluate your relationships. Which direction have they taken? Be the first in your circle of family, friends or enemies to get even with only those who have helped you.